


Pure or: Bend Me, Break Me, Mend Me

by LucyInTheSkye



Series: Sirius x Remus [35]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Body Image, Body Worship, Come Swallowing, Consent is Sexy, Drunk On Sex, Excessive Compliments, Face-Sitting, Felching, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Love, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Opposites Attract, Oral Sex, Pet Names, Porn with Feelings, Scars, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:08:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23787592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucyInTheSkye/pseuds/LucyInTheSkye
Summary: April 1980. Another battle of minds that ends in Remus offering himself up as a buffet.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Sirius x Remus [35]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1483745
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Pure or: Bend Me, Break Me, Mend Me

Remus was fresh out of the shower. He had heard his boyfriend get back from his motorcycle ride some minutes previously, and it had made Remus speed up his modest grooming habits. He dried off and shaved his chin and performed the awkward cleansing spell he tried to remember to do every day, just in case his lover wanted to get close and personal between his legs. You never knew with Sirius, and who was Remus to decline when it was offered to him? Some days he forgot about it completely, and if he fretted about not being clean enough Sirius always stopped and used the Charm to soothe Remus’s mind. Sometimes Remus only remembered after the event, and on those occasions he thought Sirius seemed extra smug in the post-orgasmic haze they shared. Remus could put two and two together; really it wasn’t as if his lover ever shied away from the opportunity to tell him how good he thought Remus tasted, whatever the body part it was he had just had in his mouth. Still, Remus couldn’t quite deal with the horrors his mind fleshed out for him in great, gross detail. What if one day he wasn’t clean? What if one day Sirius’s dick slid out of him, and instead of glistening from lube it would be covered in… Well. It really didn’t bear thinking about, did it?

“You’re back,” Remus said, as though he didn’t know, as though his senses hadn’t been on high alert all morning while he waited for a sign that his lover was coming back to him. Call him needy or call him silly; he wanted Sirius all the time. His lover did return every time he went out and without fail that meant kisses and hugs and words that skimmed Remus’s skittish brain like caresses. 

“I got us Chinese, but I think I should suck your dick first.”

Sirius’s voice was completely matter of fact, like he was telling his partner about the fine weather outside. He was arranging the food on the kitchen table, back to Remus, and he finished off by waving his wand, presumably putting a stasis charm on the food, maybe one to suppress the delicious smells that came from the takeaway. He wasn’t just fond of the way Remus tasted, he frequently expressed his delight in how he smelled, too…

“Well, don’t you just look good enough to eat,” Sirius said appreciatively as soon as he had turned around.

Remus blushed and felt his toes curl, making him a little bit wobbly. He hadn’t bothered with clothes, but he had his damp towel still around his hips.

“Likewise,” he got out.

Sirius was in one of his heavier leather jackets and his jeans were torn several times on both legs. His hair was obnoxiously attractive in a windswept swirl of crushed black waves and all he lacked was a guitar to be able to step into a poster of one of his favourite muggle bands.

They met halfway; Remus’s steps stumbling and Sirius’s graceful as a cat’s. Sirius smelled of petrol and cigarettes and the great outdoors, and Remus could only assume that he himself smelled mostly of soap. 

“You’re so clean you sparkle,” Sirius told him, getting all the way in his space so that they were touching, sticking his nose into the vulnerable skin underneath Remus’s ear. “My gorgeous, fresh-smelling darling. So pure all over, aren’t you?”

Remus shook his head nervously, because he really wasn’t in any sense of the word. And Sirius should know that intimately.

“Mmm, you are to me, though. Is that alright?”

Sirius placed a soft kiss behind the shell of Remus’s ear. Remus mulled it over, then gave a quick nod. Even after all this time some part of him still worried he might be laughed at. He wasn’t good enough, but then they pretended all sorts sometimes. Made up their own make-belief. Sirius found it easy to put on an act, and Remus always ended up believing there was a sliver of truth behind their perverted games. This was different, though, this didn’t seem like it was about discovering how much of a slut either one of them was.

“Sweet, precious baby,” Sirius said softly, his breath ghosting over the wet kisses he had hidden on Remus’s skin. “Can I kiss your mouth?”

Remus nodded more emphatically and wrapped his arms around his lover. The leather and the metal zips and the torn denim felt thrilling on his bare skin. He wasn’t that much smaller than Sirius, almost exactly the same height although his body kept most of its strength hidden rather than on display; but still by no means small. Small was what he felt like right now, though, small and exposed and completely at his lover’s mercy. The thing he found difficult to reconcile was that his lover actually _was_ merciful. Despite his thoughts on what he did or did not deserve; Remus had ended up with a lover who never just took and used and tossed him the scraps when he was finished. Remus had a lover who constantly attempted to raise his whole being up, someone who was adamant to make love to all of his body. The body that Remus had never found to be anything more than depressingly average at best. At his worst, his words got a lot harsher than that, although Sirius had suggested all those words be binned with immediate effect. Lacking and unattractive and foul, cursed werewolf monster. Scarred beyond repair.

Sirius was kissing his mouth with a slick, caressing tongue and slipping his hand underneath the towel to get to the old werewolf scar. It stretched all over Remus’s hip and was difficult to ignore, impossible to forget. Not something he could bin just because Sirius thought he should.

Remus moaned softly into his lover’s mouth. He had suffered extensive nerve damage when he was attacked, but even so he could feel Sirius’s hand moving all over. Some of the jagged bits of surviving, original skin still had feeling. It always felt bizarre when Sirius stroked fingers along the tears held together by fifteen-year-old scar tissue, incomprehensible that he would willingly retrace those nightmarish steps with his gentle, loving hands. If Remus had been him he would probably have requested a disillusionment charm at all times so that he wouldn’t have to be reminded of the monster that had been there before him, violated Remus by forcing its way in; a beast that continued to violate him like clockwork each and every month. No escape for Remus, but Sirius had a choice in the matter. 

He used that choice by coaxing the wolf out to play just before the moon, by letting the wolf have its perverted way with him too, like they could be lovers. Like they could all share. When Remus was knocked out cold Sirius turned into Padfoot and became the best friend the wolf had ever had, and when Remus came crashing back to himself Sirius was there to piece his broken body together and clean the filth and blood and animal sweat off him in the bath. And right now, when Sirius could choose to ignore it, he was petting the old warzone like he thought Remus might really be a fluffy bunny rabbit, underneath it all.

The towel fell away and Remus stopped kissing and glanced down miserably. 

“I like all of you naked,” Sirius whispered into his dully reddened cheek. “I love touching all of your skin. All over, you feel so good. You’re such a good man.”

Remus shifted his weight a little, tried to get back into the mood of being safe and loved, which (Sirius had just proven it to him _again_ ) he was.

“So good. In my book, you’re almost as good as Prongs, you know.”

Remus let slip an undignified snigger and hit his lover hard on his leather-covered, muscular upper arm. Sirius took advantage and stole his mouth back, although he was laughing himself and the resulting snog was a lesson in disorganization and slobber. 

Soon after Remus found himself spun around (he would have tripped over but Sirius knew from experience the danger that lurked in forcing Remus into fast movements and he was prepared with hands on his waist that kept him upright) and then Remus was made to slowly walk backwards, still held and kissed, one of Sirius’s hands moving to support the back of his head, the other with a secure grip on his hip.

“Here we are, darling,” Sirius said as he guided Remus to climb up and sit down on the back of the sofa; his feet on the seat, “you perch here like a precious little bird for me. Just like that…”

Remus got bright red in the face and he gazed down shyly through his fringe. Sirius was settling down on the sofa facing Remus’s groin, on his knees between his legs. He was still in his suave, rock’n’roll outfit. His hands stroked the soft insides of Remus’s thighs, ever so gently suggesting he spread his legs a bit more. 

“Can I kiss your tummy and your prick? Make you come in my mouth?”

“Yeah… Yeah, of course.” Remus didn’t know why it still embarrassed him sometimes, knew Sirius liked it and obviously Remus liked it. Sirius gave amazing head, amazing enough that Remus never lasted as long as he wanted to. Nothing was required of him; he got to sit still while Sirius worked him to completion. Most days he didn’t think twice about it, but today his brain seemed to be getting the better of him.

Sirius trailed soft lips over his stomach, close enough that Remus’s erection was his constant companion, rubbing against the side of his stubbly face. It both looked and felt exquisite and it was such a familiar scene by now that it almost made Remus relax. 

“We’ll feed you in a bit,” Sirius told his stomach, voice so low Remus had to strain his ears to hear him. “You’re such a dear, aren’t you? Wait a little bit longer and we’ll get you nice and full of noodles and cashew curry.”

Remus felt his stomach and cock jump while he worked to repress his laughter, and Sirius immediately looked up, feigning an accusatory look. He opened his mouth to speak, but then his eyes strayed from Remus’s eyes further down. Remus raised an amused eyebrow when he straightened up so that they were nose to nose.

“I’m admiring your perfect body,” Sirius told him, “We just needed to have a little chat.” 

He took Remus’s shoulders in his hands and carefully rolled them back, made Remus square them and sit up a little bit straighter. Remus didn’t know how to feel about that, so he ducked his head again and felt the stubborn colour burn on his cheeks. Sirius was relentless, he put a finger underneath Remus’s chin and made him raise his head back up; pressed heavenly soft lips into Remus’s for just a second.

“I want your come in my mouth.”

With that serving as his parting message, Sirius bent back down and Remus watched him with slack-jawed reverence. He was perfect like this, when he licked all over Remus’s aroused dick, played with some folds of foreskin between his teeth and finally nosed back up to the sticky, pink head and sucked on it.

Remus moaned appreciatively. He could feel some of his timidity leave him. He spread his legs much wider and took a good hold of the back of the sofa. It wouldn’t do to get too lost in Sirius’s mouth when he was seated like this; he might lose his balance and crack his head open on the floor.

Sirius stroked over the unprotected insides of his thighs, the freckles and the stretchmarks, then tickled playful fingertips all over the sensitive area. He was infuriatingly in control with Remus’s dick now a good long way inside his mouth, teasingly letting it bump against the constricting opening of his throat. Remus wanted in, wanted to be groped all over and choked on and yet he could barely allow himself to move, at least not until Sirius let him all the way in. 

After what felt like minutes of his defenceless dickhead getting massaged by Sirius’s mostly-tamed gag reflex; Sirius moaned and pushed all the way into Remus’s groin. He wound his arms underneath Remus’s thighs and almost unified his head with Remus’s body, and Remus helped as best he could; he placed a hand on the back of Sirius’s head and held him close while he grunted out his climax and released hot and sticky straight into Sirius’s wide-open throat. 

By the time Remus had regained some of his composure Sirius was still fully dressed and licking his softening, overexerted length. Remus’s hand was starting to cramp from holding onto the sofa so hard.

Sirius stopped mouthing over him and sat up, gave Remus’s shoulders (still squared, to Remus’s surprise) a proud look, then his legs and the extent to which they were spread.

“You’re becoming so limber, love. Soon you’ll be able to do the splits for me.”

It was half a joke, half Sirius being serious, and Remus felt hot and bothered all over. He was nowhere near that bendy, but the image was certainly an intriguing one. And if Sirius wanted to see it…

“You’d be able to do the splits while sitting on my face…”

The noise of longing that escaped Remus’s throat was a loud vibrato like the revving motor on a flying motorbike. Sirius smiled confidently and began pulling off his leather jacket.

“That’s how we could train you, innit? You’d spread yourself out over me, over my head, and I’d stick my tongue out. You could try to lower yourself as much as possible, and as a treat you’d get a tongue up your hole.”

Remus made another soft noise in agreement. He watched how Sirius wrestled with his t-shirt to get it off, then how he stood up and opened the zipper to his jeans. It was bulging. 

“Want to sit on my face?”

“Please,” Remus mumbled, warm and flushed in a more enjoyably humiliating way. Sirius pushed his jeans down his legs, then jumped onto the sofa, squirming to be able to lie down. Remus moved as though in a daze. He would show his boyfriend his most private, vulnerable bits, let Sirius explore that whole area with his mouth…

“Come on, then, darling. Get your hole on my mouth and rub your big dick all over my face.”

Remus, red-hot and excited, did just that, got his body clumsily over Sirius’s reclining body, flopped his shameful, tingling centre down smack in the middle of Sirius’s face.

“Mmm…”

Both sighed happily and in perfect agreement and Remus stroked his lover’s gorgeous, silky hair. Sirius went straight to kissing his tender hole, soft lips and the hint of a wet tongue. His eyes were closed in apparent bliss, his brow smooth. Remus’s balls had settled ridiculously over his nose and he seemed to be breathing them in deeply while he used his mouth. Remus took his own soft dick and gingerly swept it over Sirius’s forehead. Sirius opened one eye, one stunning, glimmering diamante eye, and the corner crinkled with laughter, the look in his eye oozed with sex-appeal. Remus traced one of his lover’s eyebrows with his dick, felt a smooth skimming of hairs where he was so very sensitive. He licked his lips and felt Sirius’s tongue press in, pushed his rapidly swelling dick against the eye socket that held Sirius’s closed eye, felt Sirius alternately suck on his rim and penetrate as far as his tongue could go. He could feel the eyelashes flutter and tickle against his glans.

Sirius stroked his palms over Remus’s thighs again, rubbed the muscle in a way that made Remus relax some more. Up over the scar and Remus’s unmarked hip they went, then around to his back, grabbing his arse cheeks and kneading them. Remus began rocking back and forth. It was a relief to know he was all clean, Sirius’s tongue was insistent inside him, swirling and coaxing muscles and sphincter to relax. 

“I’m gonna…” Remus whispered, rubbing his leaking dickhead more insistently against Sirius’s temple. Both Sirius’s eyes opened, they looked up adoringly at Remus’s face. Remus became redder and redder, bowed his head but found there was nothing here that he needed to hide from. 

Sirius took hold of his hips again and Remus whined when his lover easily lifted him up from his comfy position. They both had a hand on Remus’s throbbing prick now and Sirius was guiding it down his face. Remus reached his climax just as they got to his parted lips. He closed his eyes and let Sirius take charge of the situation, just put both his own hands on the armrest of the sofa to try and stay in position. Sirius held his dick and sucked him dry. He held his scarred hip for him too, made his thrashing movements into something slow and sensual. His dickhead was beyond sensitive, it left him almost in anguish to have Sirius’s lips wrapped around it, but he couldn’t move away for a long time. 

Eventually, though, he found himself in Sirius’s lap. They were both sitting up now and Sirius was looking longingly at his lips, so Remus kissed him. Sampled himself from his lover’s hungry mouth, found the flavour so familiar that he barely even reacted. If he did react, then it was with a content sigh rather than with a shudder. 

Remus was soon spreading his legs again, opening up to sit astride Sirius’s thighs. Sirius was hard, so very hard for him, and with some gentle realignment he managed to get his body over that enticing stiffness. He kissed Sirius with a corresponding appetite and rocked his hips just a little. He could feel the sexy bluntness of his lover’s arousal, felt it catch at his tongue-loosened hole. He teased himself again and again with it, teased his lover just as much or even more. Their tongues met over and over and Sirius’s hands holding him steady felt so good on him. It felt good to be touched. Good to be desired. 

When he tried to push down for real the hands on his hips held him fast and wouldn’t let him. He didn’t even know if he was loose enough to manage it, but the instinct to get Sirius inside him was stronger than mere logic. Remus whined with annoyance and lashed out with his teeth to catch Sirius’s bottom lip.

“Gorgeous baby,” Sirius said, successfully moving out of harms way but letting Remus chase after his mouth. “Such a handful when you’re horny, yeah?” He slipped one palm over Remus’s body, stopping over his fresh, painfully throbbing erection and squeezing it good. Remus stopped his attempt to bite and gave out a loud moan instead. His mind was slipping but it all felt so good. He tried to bear down on Sirius’s dick once more, then moaned again when he was stopped. He needed it now.

“I think there’s some lube still… yeah,” Sirius said, having released Remus’s dick and searched between the sofa cushions. He raised the bottle triumphantly and Remus’s eyes followed it greedily. “Here we are. You want me to open you up a bit more and then fuck you?”

Remus nodded quickly, all of his words seemingly escaping him. He didn’t want to be opened up more before the main event, surely didn’t need it, but he did need to get fucked, and sharpish. Right now. 

“Can I try something new with the sofa? If I put you on your back on the edge, like this…”

Remus groaned when Sirius got up from the sofa, but fortunately Sirius was carrying him and he didn’t need to do anything at all. Sirius smiled comfortingly at him and put him down on his back, leaving him to balance on the back of the sofa. A thrilling sensation moved up Remus’s spine; a safe sort of danger. His bum was almost hanging over the edge and he could plant one foot on the armrest to keep himself slightly more steady. Sirius was just the right height to be able to stand between his legs and fuck him. 

“So good,” Sirius said happily, diving in between his legs again and kissing all over his hard prick and wrinkly bollocks and soft opening. “So delicious, sweetheart. I’ll get some lube in you now, yeah?”

“Mmm,” Remus said, trying not to sound ungrateful or impatient. 

“Just a little bit,” Sirius said soothingly, two of his slick fingers slipping inside. Remus’s hips jerked and he made a devastating, forlorn noise when they teased over his prostate. “You’re so ready, aren’t you? Feels so good inside, you’re so beautiful in here. All warm and smooth. Wet for me.” Sirius twisted a few times then slid them back out. Over the pounding of his heart, Remus could hear the lube bottle open again, could hear Sirius slicking himself up. 

“Want my dick?”

“Just get the fuck on with it,” Remus grumbled, tongue loosening, and then he yelped when he was entered all at once. Sirius laughed teasingly at him, but then it stopped abruptly. Remus gave him an annoyed look that turned into embarrassment. Sirius was looking at him with staggering levels of awe, like he was the one who couldn’t believe this was happening. Remus licked his lips and it made Sirius bow over him, press soft lips to Remus’s and inadvertently push himself impossibly deeper into Remus. 

Remus sighed contentedly; he was full at last. Full of dick and full of love. Sirius drew out slowly and the drag was exquisite on his prostate; he could feel his eyes tear up from emotion. Sirius placed a hand on the soft underside of Remus’s belly and the pressure seemed to be put straight onto Remus’s impending climax, like Sirius was able to touch it. Hold Remus’s orgasm in his hand. He was speeding up his thrusts and the angle was exactly right, which meant Remus became too out of breath to be able to tell him how right it was with words. He hoped his eyes said it all. He couldn’t move but then that was just as well; one clumsy manoeuvre and he might have found himself slipping down onto the floor. Sirius was breathing just a heavily now, moving faster and faster but keeping the same angle. His eyes were locked on Remus’s and Remus couldn’t as much as blink, he was that far gone. 

Remus’s mouth opened in a noiseless scream, he scrambled wildly with his hand until he found Sirius’s. He needed to hold it. He was coming and coming across his stomach and he couldn’t break the eye contact, felt as though it was vital just now. Sirius’s free hand found his dick and helped rub it out. He wasn’t quite done when Sirius’s eyelids trembled shut and he let slip the most vulnerable of noises. Remus watched in fascination how he looked when he came; he could feel it inside of himself in more than one way. Sirius’s face was an exquisite picture of pleasure tinted with torment. 

Remus used the foot he had on the armrest as leverage to push himself into something close to a sitting position, and Sirius welcomed him with open arms, wrapped him up and pulled him towards himself. Remus could feel the come slide down his belly and out his tender hole. Sirius was going soft fast and with a gentle pop he slid out completely. 

“Your body is perfect, you know,” Sirius mumbled into his hair. He was stepping even closer, Remus thought it was partly because he was eager to get some of the spunk on himself. Partly, he hoped, it was because he wanted a cuddle. Remus certainly did. “Perfect, yeah? Makes both of us feel so good. All because of your body.”

“Alright,” Remus said softly, rubbing his wet stomach into Sirius and feeling Sirius’s grip strengthen on his waist. Message received. 

“I’m hungry,” Sirius continued lazily. His mouth was moving towards Remus’s lips.

“Are you now?” Remus raised a teasing eyebrow when he got eye-contact, then he purposefully looked down between their bodies.

“Mmm,” Sirius said with a smug smile, then he licked Remus’s mouth, his chin, then his collarbone as he began to sink down. His heart got a long, sensual kiss.

Remus watched him indulgently, hand in his hair while he worked his tongue all over Remus’s torso, stopping for longer whenever he found come stains. He was exceedingly careful when he got to Remus’s flaccid dick, lifting it out of the way to get at the creamy tracks around Remus’s groin. It felt just right in Sirius’s hand, even better when he gave it a few cleansing kisses. 

After that his knees hit the floor with a thump and Remus tried to spread his legs ever wider. Sirius spent minutes eating him out, all the way until Remus’s stomach gave a resounding rumble. Their eyes met over Remus’s body and they both laughed. 

“Main course now, what do you say?”

“I thought _I_ was the main course,” Remus protested with mock-offence. 

“Nah, obviously you’re the starter,” Sirius said, standing up and holding out a hand to help Remus off the back of the sofa. “Slip of a thing.”

“Burly, over-chivalrous prickhead,” Remus muttered, but he took it anyway.

“You can be dessert, too,” Sirius suggested, and Remus perked up considerably at that.


End file.
